“Every time we make the decision to love someone, we open ourselves to great suffering, because those we most love cause us not only great joy but also great pain. The greatest pain comes from leaving. When the child leaves home, when the husband or wife leaves for a long period of time or for good, when the beloved friend departs to another country or dies … the pain of the leaving can tear us apart. Still, if we want to avoid the suffering of leaving, we will never experience the joy of loving. And love is stronger than fear, life stronger than death, hope stronger than despair. We have to trust that the risk of loving is always worth taking.”— Henri J.M Nouwen (via christinahkung)
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable…the only place outside of Heaven that you are truly safe from all the dangers of love, is hell.”
— C.S. Lewis”—(via thinkthatrandom)
Just a random person and that's cool. Thanks for responding. I'm Christian too, but I get asked a lot about why I'm Christian. I know you're new, but if someone asked you how can you believe in God and Jesus if you've never seen them, how would you respond? I usually say I have faith that's why I believe, but even that can seem a little uncertain.
Lol sorry for the lag reply, just finished finals. But oh haha so how’d you find my tumblr then? And ohh cool! Lol well I’m probably not the best person to ask lol because I can’t really support my argument that well yet, but I guess I would talk about how consistent the world is and how its so amazing that everything works the way it does, you know what I mean? Also, I’ve asked my friends before and they’ve talked about a moral code, and how it must be of something beyond us since everyone seems to have similar standards of morality. And on a more personal level, I guess I’d talk about how even though I cant see God, I can definitely see how the Holy Spirit has been working within me to get to know Him more and to draw closer to Him, because thats definitely something that I can’t do on my own. I guess this could kinda be analogous to gravity. You can’t see it, but you know its there. You can only see the effects that it exhibits. Lol yeah, sorry if I’m not that helpful. xD Still learning myself! But yeah if you have anymore questions, ask away! But if we could talk in any other way, so that I don’t have to keep publishing my answers like this everytime, thatd be splendid! Haha :)
Hey, I can see from your blog that you're Christian. If you don't mind me asking, why would you say you're Christian?
Hello! Yeah, I am. And a fairly new one at that. But yeah, there are many reasons as to why I’m a Christian, but the main reason being, I believe in the Gospel. I believe that God created all things. He created us to have a relationship with Him, but after sin entered the world, we innately turn away from God and fall short of His glory. We rebel against God, deserving of condemnation. But God so lovingly sent His own Son, Jesus Christ, down to earth to die on the cross for our sins so that we may be forgiven. And so now our hearts are made clean through the work of Jesus Christ. And everyone who trusts in him will have eternal life. :)
Btw, May I know who this is? I can go more in-depth! I’d just rather not talk through tumblr.. lol
“Why did I write it down? In order to remember, of course, but exactly what was it I wanted to remember? How much of it actually happened? Did any of it? Why do I keep a notebook at all? It is easy to deceive oneself on all those scores. The impulse to write things down is a peculiarly compulsive one, inexplicable to those who do not share it, useful only accidentally, only secondarily, in the way that any compulsion tries to justify itself. I suppose that it begins or does not begin in the cradle. Although I have felt compelled to write things down since I was five years old, I doubt that my daughter ever will, for she is a singularly blessed and accepting child, delighted with life exactly as life presents itself to her, unafraid to go to sleep and unafraid to wake up. Keepers of private notebooks are a different breed altogether, lonely and resistant rearrangers of things, anxious malcontents, children afflicted apparently at birth with some presentiment of loss.”—Joan Didion, from “On Keeping a Notebook”, in “Slouching Towards Bethlehem: Essays” (via mitochondria)
How does one get over the sin of being liked or accepted by the people around them? I struggle so hard by not caring and reminding me that Christ’s love is enough, but sometimes its just so hard not to care and to not forget that Christ’s love is enough. I want to change, but it seems like every time I try I keep stumbling and failing. What should I do?
Along with anger, lust, and pride, this is one of the most besetting sins I’ve ever had the non-pleasure of battling. May I first please point you to a message I did on this recently here, called “I Am Addicted To People.” I talk about the Five Types of People-Pleasers: Entertainer, Rescuer, Romantic, Reputation, and Victim.
The main problem goes by a lot of names: People-Pleasing, Attention-Seeking, Co-Dependency, Peer Pressure, Daddy Issues, Attention-Whore, Class-Clown, Yes-Man. It’s all from the same motives.
There are some fundamental issues to explore with wanting to be liked by people. Once you expose the lies, you can begin to see your way to the truth.
1) Trying to get everyone’s approval is logistically impossible.
Since everyone has a different opinion about your life and what you should do with it, it’s downright impossible to meet everyone’s acceptance of you. Whether you’re addicted to making people happy or getting people to approve of you (both which come from the same motives), it’s a fruitless exhausting endeavor.
A lot of people will also have the wrong facts on you, so you can discard that right out of hand. People will always think they have the best for you when they don’t.
2) Need people less but love them more.(Edward T. Welch)
Maybe this will sound a bit harsh, but the biggest reason we look to peoples’ acceptance is because we are treating them like “commodity-resources,” in which each person is a vending machine that dispenses the drug called approval. Trying to please people is really about serving yourself.
If you can begin to view people as actual people with other functions besides getting you “high,” you can quit needing them and start to love them.
When you really get to know people and love them, you’ll already begin to think of yourself less. That’s true humility. And that’s half the battle.
3) Don’t care what people think about you, but DO care what they think.
It’s impossible not to care about people’s thoughts. So it’s not enough to flip a table and yell, “I don’t care what you people think!” The second you say you don’t care about something, you care enough to say you don’t care.
If you don’t care at all what people think, you have to hide in a high tower with a dead heart and a stone cold soul which is making yourself less human and not more. We have to care at least a little if just for the sake of hearing rebuke and the hard truth.
So instead there must be a re-channeling. I care less and less about what people think of me, but I do care what they think at all. I might not care that people think I’m a buffoon, but I do care if they love Jesus and are not condemning themselves. I don’t care if someone thinks I’m a moron, but I do care if they think they’re a moron. I don’t care if someone hates on me, but I care if they want to kill themselves. Huge difference.
Again, this is about loving people more and reducing our need for them. It takes a disciplined practice to even begin down this road, but that uphill climb is totally worth the freedom. To be free to love people instead of needing them so bad.
My first pastor was one of those people. I always sensed he loved me, but he never really needed me for anything. He didn’t feed off my attention or approval or laughter or anything else. He was a free soul because he just loved me. That’s a good place to be.
4) What exactly can people do?
I totally understand the heartache and fear of someone not liking you. Whenever I find out someone doesn’t like me, my soul stretches out to them and I want to shake them by the shoulders and find out WHY. But then what?
Hebrews 13:6 (the verse I preached from) says, So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?”
So let’s break that down. Fear is when you exaggerate a perfectly normal response to an abnormal level. It’s like looking at a cat and thinking it’s Godzilla. Fear predicts a false future; but you already know your future is secure through the cross and resurrection of Christ. So Satan can’t use that one now.
The Lord is my helper. Say that with confidence. It’s already enough that God is with us. That verse is mind-blowing in itself: that the God of the universe loves me. But that second part —What can man do to me? —is like a wake-up call.
I used to be totally mortified when someone didn’t like me. There was fear. But what exactly can this person do to me? If they don’t like me then will I spontaneously explode? Are they going to kidnap my kids and stab me and burn down my house?Should I suddenly become a desperate sniveling butt-kissing weirdo to get their approval? Make them like me or else? And what does their approval actually do for me? Somehow feed my soul until I’m spiritually full?
If you can dig to the inevitable bottom of this lie — that if people don’t like me then I’ll somehow die a horrible death — then it begins to look like the ridiculous lie it really is.
If you can dismantle Satan’s strategy here, you can see right through it and keep moving. Satan hates that. God wants that. We want that.
“So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.”—Into the Wild (via thatkindofwoman)
Ryan: Dude. I stayed up until like 6:30am. I wasn’t even doing anything.
Eva: Boo hoo Ryan. Kids in Africa dont even sleep. There’s like a bunch of flies flying around their eyes.
Sukai: Hey, do you know Chuck E. Cheese?
Me: Yeah, why?
*shows picture of Chuck E. Cheese on Ryan’s phone*
Sukai: Doesn’t Eva look like him??!
Eva: WHAT! I LOOK LIKE. BEAUTIFUL.
HAHAHA found this in my drafts. I can almost relate to the one about the flies! Unicamp On-site orientation….the bugs were the worst.. Giant flies were constantly flying around and landing on you like no other. So annoying. Lol.
Wow, it’s been two years since I’ve been home for a period longer than 3 weeks. Ever since I started my undergrad career, I’ve been in LA all year long (including Summer Session A and C). It feels weird to be finally home.
Summer is approximately halfway over. These past six few weeks have been…
Thanks for putting it into perspective Kevin. I do feel the guilt of not doing anything school related. I feel like I should be taking summer school, doing research, working, or doing something academically productive! But then I realized I’ll have the rest of my college years to do all that. Even though I’ll just be at home until Session C, I should try to make the most out of all my free time because I think this might be my last free summer as well.. :( Pretty much everyone I know is doing summer school, so it’s probably gonna be a pretty relaxing and peaceful summer. Definitely planning to read more. Finally have time to read Catching Fire and Mocking Jay. Maybe the Da Vinci Code and/or Sherlock Holmes? Gotta finish Don’t Waste Your Life. Probably gonna buy more Christian books. But yeahh, I see a lot of reading in this summer. Its funny, I used to say I hate reading. Out of all the books we had to read for English in high school, I don’t even know how many I actually read.. The only books that I remember actually reading were Animal Farm and half of Great Expectations for summer homework incoming freshmen year, Tom Sawyer for summer homework sophomore year, and Grendel senior year. Lol. But now I find reading during my free time pretty enjoyable! But I only like reading books that I want to read, not books that I have to read. Like I still never read for my classes in college (but I’m trying to break that habit lol). Sometimes I get these moments where all I want to do is be alone and read. But yeah, reading. Its good. Lol.
Also, gonna try to learn guitar! But I’ve said this every break since the summer of freshmen year of college and I never follow through. I always try for like a day or two and then just give up. I’ve learned the “main” chords from Kyle multiple times, but they never stick in my head. But not this time! Goal: Learn how to play one song (or part of a song atleast lol).
I definitely need to exercise more. Because all I do at home is eat junkfood and sit around.
And I want to discipline myself to do my devo’s and pray more consistently because I definitely slacked off spring quarter… :/ I pray that I may be able to draw nearer to God this summer and to build a more grounded faith. One new thing I’ve been doing is that recently I’ve been driving to a lot of far places, and to pass time I’ve been praying out loud during my drive. Usually when I pray, its just silent in my head, but praying out loud just feels so much more ______! I can’t think of the word right now, but it just feels a lot better and more satisfying. I still have trouble with praying in front of people, like I can’t think and I literally feel a blockage on my mind because I guess I get nervous or something, but hopefully this’ll help me through that. I remember when I checked out CPC the other week, the pastor was telling a story about how everyone makes fun of him for praying too loudly during prayer meetings or something lol.
Oh! Another thing!. To find a home church! I wish I could go to Lighthouse, but its kinda far. I wouldn’t mind driving. But I’m pretty sure my dad would get mad at me for driving that far every week because of gas and all. I went to Cerritos Baptist Church last Sunday and I think I like it. I was late though because I couldn’t find it, so I missed worship. Even though there were probably like only 20 people at service, and I think almost everyone was an adult, something about it just felt very homey. I wish there were a time of fellowship after service, like at Lighthouse. But yeah, I really like how its small, because it makes for a closer-knit community. (Over winter break, I went to SeaCoast Grace and it was literally GIGANTIC.) And the pastor seemed really nice and spoke well. So I’ll probably go a few more times to see if I’m gonna stick with it. And I think I’m gonna check out the College Ministry on Thursday! So that’ll be exciting. (Or awkward.)